~PAINTBRUSH ON CANVAS~

Sorry it took me so long to get my blogged up dated! I thought I would have had all of this posted sooner this weekend. Time is often my enemy! How do I begin this story?

First let me say that I am so thrilled that I have made the first step to my next journey! It has always been a dream/passion of mine to want to make cards! I have always putzed around with art. I am not exclaiming to be a brilliant artist but I am authentic and original! All of the art work is done by me!

**TONIGHT** my painting is scheduled for auction at 8:30 pm central time on E-bay. Here is the link

The title of my story "SYMBOLS OF THE SOUL"
First let me start by saying that I have "My Wings to Fly"....
In the previous blog I told you that the "PURPLE HEART" was the theme of my art work. To take the mystery out of the puzzle for you the PURPLE HEART is a representation of "DOMESTIC ABUSE AWARENESS". This is one of them feel good stories! Many years ago I married a man named Cory. I married him when I was 20 years old. I knew it wasn't a good relationship but chalk it up to being young, naive, and co-dependent.

I was always searching for a man to love me. My father died when I was very young, I was 6 years old. My life was never the same after that dreadful day on August 28th of 1978. During my developmental stages someone did inappropriate things to me and violated me. Even though I reported what had happened to me, years later to the proper authorities it was just to difficult for them to charge him. I guess I was suppose to feel better by leaving a paper trail in case others stepped forward.

Eventually I did become courageous enough to confront the person that abused me. It was a changing moment of my life! I took back the power so at least I thought!

I spent many years of my life looking for love in all of the wrong places! At the age of 17 I became involved with Cory my now ex husband, father of my one son Cody. Life for him was a struggle, I spent many years trying to change the person he was. I didn't understand that "you can't change someone". He became abusive to me before I ever made the decision to marry him. You ask why? How could I do such a silly thing? I guess when they say don't judge someone until you have walked in their footsteps is my response. I thought he loved me! I was so desperate and looking for approval in all the wrong places. I guess when you don't love yourself how can you expect someone else to show you love.

It took me many years to put the pieces of my life together. I was in what I call a deep dark part of my life. This abusive relationship evolved over 12 years. As my son started getting older and he began to witness these acts of violence it made me stop and think. I know that I didn't want him to do these things to women. I knew I had to break the cycle of abuse. I can't express the number of times I tried to walk away from the relationship. I was a victim of a lot of things. I was a prisoner in my own soul. Mostly, I was running from myself, fear was the greatest factor.

I humbled myself and I sought out services for myself and my son through a local womens' shelter. I spent two months in a shelter for women and children that are victims of domestic violence. I can still remember how safe I felt when we stayed there. There was alarms, cameras, and locks on the doors and windows. But at the same time there was the smell of coffee brewing, the togetherness, and comfort offered by strangers. Nature was out the back door, a State park. I remember waking up at watching the deer out my window. Such a serene feeling of comfort.

I could go on for years and explain all of the icky details but I don't think that it's necessary to get my point across. At that time of my life for the first time I was living in my own apartment with my son by myself "ALONE"... I tried to forgive myself for all of the bad things I had done. I learned to love myself and most of all "RESPECT MYSELF"!!! I learned that how I allow others to treat me is exactly what I will get. I learned to stop running from myself! I learned to love myself!

I wish I could say there was a better ending for Cory, rest his soul. Life was always difficult for him. He struggled with mental health issues, and alcohol dependency. He took his life 5 years ago and left behind Cody. At first I was angry, bitter, and at the same time relieved. Some questions will never be answered. Life is a mystery...

When I was finishing my undergraduate degree I became a volunteer, advocate at CADA (Committee Against Domestic Abuse) where I once had lived. I became an advocate to help other women realize that they don't have to take the abuse. I was so thankful that I had a safe place to begin my life over! I am no longer a victim, I am a survivor of domestic abuse.

I earned my "Wings to Fly".... as you will see stamped on the back of my cards. I will be posting them next week for sale on e-bay. Tonight, Monday at 8:30 pm my art work will be up for sale. My user name on e-bay is symbolsofthesoul. I will be donating a portion from all of my art work to CADA. Once the original art piece is auctioned off I will begin to sell printed cards of the original print. Just remember a portion of the money will be given to help other women and children earn their "Wings to Fly".

Thank you for letting me share my story and thank you for supporting my cause!

As always ~Smiles~ Kimbella